Why is he insisting on paying on our dates?

I've been dating this guy and on 2 out of 3 dates we've been on, he's insisted on paying for all our dates

He also keeps holding open every door for me

What's up with this?

Best Answer:

Law Abiding Citizen: You know, 30 years ago, a stupid question like this wouldn't have been asked without being immediately dismissed.

You know why this guy is doing this. He is opening the door for you to show you that you mean something to him. He is paying for dates to advertise financial security.

Some men out there still believe that it is a man's job to financially provide for his family. This guy seems to be one of them. He is letting you know that if things go further with you two, he will take care of you. This is what I've ALWAYS interpreted men paying for dates to mean. If he will pay for dates, he will pay for other things. He will financially take care of you.

Too bad we are losing that idea in this day and age. You should be happy you have a man like this. The next one who makes you pay may be that "non-traditional" sleaze who will end up leaving you with a broken heart and a busted lip.

Other answer:

Law Abiding Citizen:
He's a traditionalist/conservative playing the gentleman role.

Arguably it's best to do away with the whole 'gentleman' idea and encourage equality, but the fact is that women are generally paid less so there's still an etiquette for men to pay for dinner, also it's still socially accepted that the guy makes gestures like this during the first few days at least – some people will also continue this throughout the relationship, as long as both parties agree to this and the guy doesn't otherwise mistreat you or expect you to fit into a feminine/womans role you're not comfortable with then there's no problem with this at all.

GRANDE ARMEE:
Because equality is an illusion.

The rule is whoever ask to go on a date pays for the date, "but" men are still expected to ask women out on a date 99% of the time. And if the man don't pay for the date or at the very least pay his half of the date he will be viewed second rate to men who always pay for the full date.

Again, equality is a lie and a illusion.

Also I personally don't mind paying full or half the date. I'm simply stating how fake equality is.

shipwreck:
Part is old fashion manners and pride. I met my guy 30 years ago and he said if he had a wife she wouldn't work, he would support her. He and I grew up where the woman stayed home even if she didn't have kids. A man paid for dates because in the olden days women lived with daddy until he gave her away as a bride so she never had her own money.
I made more money than my guy even when we first met, he said he would never live with a woman who made more than him so I didn't tell him. My boss didn't know better but asked him how he liked me getting a raise and bonus the same day. He wanted to know why I didn't tell him, I said so he wouldn't dump me, he said he wouldn't dump me for getting a raise. Men his age are torn between the need to support a women and not finding women who want to be supported. I let him pay for things that would make him feel bad if I paid but buy him nice gifts. Our entire relationship I have saved about half my income so I didn't look rich while he felt poor. Now retired and I am starting to spend my life savings while he is getting by on his SS and pensions. Men's egos can be fragile so do what we older women did, he pays when you go out, but you make him home cooked meals.
Opening doors, walking with you farther from traffic is because men are stronger and want to be gentlemen. Woman like a man who isn't a coward or lazy or a user.
Crystal:
you know, 30 years ago, a stupid question like this wouldn't have been asked without being immediately dismissed…

you know why this guy is doing this… he is opening the door for you to show you that you mean something to him… he is paying for dates to advertise financial security…

some men out there still believe that it is a man's job to financially provide for his family… this guy seems to be one of them… he is letting you know that if things go further with you two, he shall take care of you… this is what i've always interpreted men paying for dates to mean… if he shall pay for dates, he shall pay for other things… he shall financially take care of you…

too bad we are losing that idea in this day and age… you should be happy you have a man like this… the next one who makes you pay may be that "non-traditional" sleaze who shall end up leaving you with a broken heart and a busted lip…

?:
He's a traditional geezer.

I always offer to pay but I EXPECT the woman to pay 50/50 and I will hold doors open for men and women. I don't discriminate.

babyboomer1001:
Tell him you are from the other side of the tracks. Then, he will understand your point of view. Then, go with the flow. If it bothers you too much, go and find a coarse, rough around the edges redneck so that you can feel right at home.
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tro:
he's been taught to respect women like in good old days, he is being very nice to you compared to what most guys do now days
if he wants to do this, go along with it, enjoy it while you can
old man on the hill:
this is what was expected of a guy who asked a girl out on a date in the fifties. it was considered chivalrous and gentlmanly
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